She Comes in Colours

My hair? 

It has turned red, pink, purple and a certain kind of depressing, 

yet electric blue in the right light (and so much more).

There was just enough of it when I was born. 

Then it grew, my god did it grow. 

Reflecting blue skies, green fields, pink cotton candy, 

always refractive in water water. 

Almost magical and wild. 

Always wild.

It went from baby blue, baby pink to a punk pink pretty quick. 

With red streaks. 

Those red streaks, which you could see a mile away.

It turned Pale Orange when my parents fought 

Bright light blue when I did a whole length underwater while holding my breath.

Bright light green when my father took the training wheels off of my cycle. 

Cool blue with streaks of violet as my brother and I roller bladed through the neighbourhood.

A bloody yellow when I was molested and raped

Red when I was loved. 

So many years of red.

A whiter shade of  pale blue - yellow when I was cheated on and humiliated by lovers and “leaders”

Golden when I won races and excelled in what I loved.

Glittery when I wrote or painted.

Electric; as if it was mixed with the colours of the galaxy, when I was high, singing or laughing

My hair stopped reflecting colours for a white when I moved out of my home. 

But it Soon learnt to make its own colours.

It was charcoal black when my sisters bodies burned. '

The soot strains have still not left my heart.  

A violetish-blue hue when I lived alone and within myself 

Rainbow when I taught school children for years

Pink when I learned to love again

Purple when I learned to lead

Lavender when I found love 

Transparent when the dead and divine spoke to me. 

Green when I got divorced.

Pink when it all worked out 

Red when I found passion, direction and  love (lots of it)

Golden when I professionally drove Jaguars for fun 

or stood on my own two feet as an artist, 

through sheer grit and determination and love.

It’s funny how our childhood hues come back when we most need it.

But, life goes on. 

Grey when I lost all hope

Bright Yellow when I found it back

Rainbow again, guess why?

Life goes on. 

What is life without hope, love and bravery?

I once had a two white dogs with black markings, 

a white dog with brown spots, 

a black dog, a brown dog and a  salt - pepper dog too,

I now have a unicorn dog as well!

My mother’s head has seen a riot of colours 

and all the shades of grey and blue you can imagine.  S

She keeps changing  it around for fun too. 

Someday, I will learn to do that.  

She is hopeful. 

Ever hopeful, giving, smart, optimistic, leading and loving.

My fathers hair started greying in his 20’s . 

A gorgeous grey streak through his head. 

Think that made him braver. 

Well, he’s always been brave.

He’s almost bald now, still the same, 

generous, gregarious, intelligent, 

magnanimous, strong, loving human being. 

There is no wisdom in hair colour.

Life goes on. 

Grey when I lost all hope

Bright Yellow when I found it back

Rainbow again, guess why?

Life goes on. 

What is life without hope, love and bravery?

A Speck of Dust

When I am dead,

When my body is bloated and dry,

When my eyes are fixated to the wall,
When you close them with your fingers,

When my lips are pale,

When I can no longer move or think,

What will you say then?

“She was so lively and full of love,

A little crazy, talented,

Idealistic.

Remember the time when..

I miss her.

I keep thinking she’s in another city,

Doing her ‘own thing.’”

You’ll put a few photographs of me around the rooms,

Beside loved ones we’ve lost

Put flowers/candles/angels around it

Scrummage through old albums to find more pictures,

Facebook will help too,

Write an obituary,

Organize a funeral,

Get flowers, a priest, tears everywhere

Fight about if my flowers should be colourful or white,

Bathe me in flowers and wrap me in cloth,

The dogs will moan too and behave in a manner as if I’m still around

You will feel me in the wind,

Beside you, in corners of rooms,

Strange sounds will seem familiar to you.

When I’m dead, you’ll wish we had more time to love me before,

You’ll then proceed to have a few drinks in my name,

Play a few Beatles and Baez songs in turn,

Lament about the good ol’ days and funny ways,

You’ll move to philosophy,

How you never really know.

Then, as the night dwindles by,

Each one makes their weary way home.

As you lie in your wet pillow,

You turn to silent tears,

Then bawl profusely; for a while.

Light up a smoke and stare at the night sky.

Feel helpless, get angry with god.

Do not weep for me,

For I am not dead.

This universe is unimaginable,

Infinite,

Our bodies limit us.

Leave your body and you will see,

How great it is to be me.

Transfer of energy,

That’s all.

Nothing to get sad about.

Imagine seeing the universe in a speck of dust,

That’s where I am,

Smile and carry on.

There is a lot left for you to do.

You need this world now.

When the time is right,

I will see you on the other side,

Beside a speck of dust.

Life through cigarettes and flowers

She smelt of cigarettes and flowers

With the world whizzing by in her minds eye

As she sat in the back of the blue car

She chose to skip breakfast and lunch to catch up on sleep

She munched on a juicy red apple instead

 

The world passed by as she looked out the window

“how lucky I am to travel at non-office hours” she thought to herself

The breeze on her face coupled with the intoxicating smell of rain on the concrete road

With lush green fields and factory smoke in the air, there’s no place else she’d rather be

 

Damn, Kumar just missed the turn.

"Ghumao ghumao ghumao"

Pick the boss up

Get to class.

 

Wow! She sees;

Kids being taught about racism and inequality

Asking them.. “what would you do?”

Critical thinking - high

Joyful kids, interested, hardworking,

All on task

The day just got better

Back to the coffee shop

Converse converse converse

Mindset skill will action next step praise positive plan data tangent

Move on
 

On the couch back home

With her fiancé by her side and dogs running around

Watching House and eating rice, dal, bhindi

With fried chicken nuggets

She smelt of cigarettes and love

Life is good this side of my world.

But only here

In my minds eye,

There’s a hundred sordid images and thoughts that bleed
they keep me up at night

Gaza,

Hamas,

ISIS,

Israel,

Headless reporter,

Young girls captured to be wives

 

Zoom in to my country

 

Tiger shot dead

Shooting civilians in Assam,

3 year olds, gang raped and dead,

Hung from a tree for being born,

3200 women saved from trafficking, millions to go

Shakti mills rape, marine drive rape

Men killed for defending girls,

Man killed for feeding dogs,

Woman stripped and beaten for walking a dog,

Free country?

I don’t see it

56% kids in class 5 can’t read a grade 2 level text – in any language

45% kids in class 5 can't do a 2 digit subtraction problem

India Shining

Murderer in power

Looking to bring more money  without values

Export arms

Teach science though flying chariots

India Burning

She felt the night.

No one put the weight of the world on your shoulders.
But how can you let it go by?

Cigarettes, they kill.
Flowers, they heal
Love, it creates.

In between the creating, killing and healing,
You'll find your piece
What are you waiting for?

 

Little Embers

Little embers strewn across a coal black plane,
Little embers in tiny groups that remain.
How I wish they could touch the sky above,
And see what I see with so much love.

Venus is calling out to me;
Showing me all about love and places I could be.
She stays fixated within my soul and tells me about dreams untold.

The plane dips to the left,
The dark wings shadow what I cannot see.
The land below, shows me all the places I could be.
The fog around mixes my visions,
The contrast is without reason.

The little embers burn on and on,
Like little pieces of gold, grouped together,
Shining on forever.

Into the darkness we now approach,
There is no distinction between the sky and the Earth.
We are all one,
Made of the same matter
It's all an illusion my friend.
Opening your eyes will not help,
We are only human in that body of yours.
Only human.

The truth untold is within you,
The secrets of life; all around you.
They try letting themselves known to you through symbols,
Symbols that have been there since the bygone years.
Symbols that are kinds to your ears.
Symbols that are wise and true,
Symbols that show you, you.

The Racing Line

So, if you need to find me baby,
I’ll be on the racing line.
Goin’ in slow, comin’ out fast-
Taking turns just fine.

Gotta brake early sometimes;
And kiss the apex so smooth.
Gotta shift after she redlines-
You don’t wanna spoil the mood.

Just feel the right groove,
And throttle her through .

It’s like taking my time,
While goin’ fast.
It’s about being on top,
While the music lasts.

(Mis)interpretations.

When you say Sena,
I think Ayrton.

When you say you scored,
I think a goal.

When I say I'm high,
It really is on life.

Almost There

Enough of being upside down
Enough of turning round and round
The circle’s turned three
We are who we choose to be
What’s wrong, What’s right,
What’s worth a fight?
Who cares?
I’m almost there.

Sweet Undercurrents

I have been half alive,
I have been half dead,
But always half of everything,
Never quite what they said.

Day by day I feel more complete.
Even though I know it’s all an illusion-
Coming closer and then just moving away.
Still I choose to believe because it’s the easier way.

'Cos the bigger picture you see,
Is not so far away.
Its right in front of you,
You just gotta open up your senses and stay-
Every single day.

Stay for a while under the starlit sky,
Stay for a while and watch the birds fly by.
The sun will shine bright,
While the moon will lighten up your night,
The wind might help you fly
And you may not really understand why.

But feel it all,
Soak it in,
Be who you want to be
Right from within.

Forget the world,
Forget what’s gone,
Forget what will be,
Just be happy being,
Being with Me.

Being

It’s bleeding,
It’s bleeding inside.
But Oh! These wounds
I can hide.
They will heal
And like now,
I will never stop to feel.

Pride goes a long way.
The voices inside have something to say
And I will keep listening to them everyday.
Each moment is precious
And it’s as real as it can be.
Forever I will be,
Just be.

Bend

It’s crazy how I feel like I don’t belong,
How I’m always doing something wrong.
How the rest of the world always sets what’s right,
How you are ’nothing’ unless you fight.
But don’t you see, what’s ’nothing’ for you,
Might just be everything for me?

Your shadow might be my light,
Your day might be my night.
Your hours might be my wind,
Your thoughts might be all that didn’t
Let me be me.

Your words might not be my tune,
Your sun just might be my moon.
Your fears might be my strength
Your forward motions, my bend.

Your illusions might be my reality.
So blend your morality,
With all that’s around you.
Curb your thoughts down the untrammeled road,
Tune in on a different mode.
’Think out of the box’ you say,
But you still have it your way.
Yeah, you rather have it your way.